my story
My Story
Why am I a Christian?
I wasn't brought up in a religious family. It was while I was at university - studying human evolution, at the time, actually - that I met some people who talked to me about God - like Christians do.
I realised that, although I called myself a Christian, it actually didn't mean anything in my life. I was basically living according to my own values and ideas. As I thought about it over the following year, I gradually discovered that I was convinced by the teachings and claims of Jesus of Nazareth. But I also realised that if I believed, I needed to change the way I was living, and I didn't want to do that. After struggling with that for some time, I finally gave in. I didn't really want to, and I wasn't sure I could stick it out, but on 22 March 1982, at about 4.30 am, I asked God to help me live the way he wanted.
For me, that was the moment of a new start in life. The God whom I had previously imagined to be out in the universe somewhere, I now discovered to be intimately involved in even my life. The discovery that Christ is alive and knowable changed the whole direction of my life. I'm sure I became unbearable in my eagerness that everyone else should find the same truth I had discovered. But my life was never to be the same.
Over the years my faith has grown and changed shape. I have at times, in misplaced enthusiasm, been insensitive, intolerant, and smug. I have blown it at times, and I'm sure I will do again. I have been disappointed and hurt by other Christians (as I'm sure others have by me). I still find some things really hard to accept and understand.
So why am I still a Christian? Well, probably for three main reasons:
Firstly, Jesus. I still find the life and teaching of Jesus unmatched. His compassion for the weak, his grace towards sinners, his hatred of injustice and religious pomposity, his offer of forgiveness for all, his teaching on love, and his call to sacrificially follow him to find God's kingdom are still captivating after all these years. I am persuaded that the story of his life, his death for our sin, and his resurrection is basically the way it is told in the Bible, and that both inspires and challenges me.
Secondly, my own experience since knowing Christ. The things I have seen happen in my own life, the changes in my own heart, and the inexplicable answers to prayer, I can't explain away.
And thirdly, his followers. We are all "works in progress." Accusations can justly be made against many who call themselves Christian. But I have discovered among those who seriously attach themselves to Christ, a love and grace that I have not seen anywhere else.
So there you go. I recommend Jesus. I don't necessarily recommend all that is done or taught in his name. I don't necessarily recommend you agree with everything the churches might say or do. But I do recommend Jesus. His call to leave the empty rubbish of self-gratification and follow him comes with the promise of forgiveness, with the possibility of freedom from destructive habits, and with the challenge to change the world.
If you've never read his story and teaching, I recommend that too - start maybe with the gospel of John or Luke.
Things don't all get sorted out at once, but start the journey of walking with him, and see where it takes you. We are all on a journey. In some ways, in Bono's words, I still haven't found what I'm looking for. Or, as the apostle Paul put it: "It's not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me."
Living with Christ is good. But the best is yet to come.